Post by Goldash on Jan 27, 2008 14:20:23 GMT -5
ORCHARD PARK, NY: There's a new URWL Internet Champion. And it isn't the man you're thinking of. In a press conference to the local and national media this afternoon, URWL wrestlers !nterogative and Salvatore revealed their true intentions going into the URWL Championship match at Discontent...and they weren't pretty.
"This was all planned out beforehand, it wasn't some spur of the moment deal," said Salvatore, who revealed he was the mastermind behind the final shocking moment of the 2006-07 URWL season. "This is real. Joe Intero and Michael Salvatore are, indeed, an alliance, the likes of which the wrestling world has never seen before. It's a union between the greatest wrestler of the old URWL, myself, and the greatest wrestler of the new URWL: the man to my left, YOUR undefeated URWL Champion, !nterogative. Your hero, Jaime Emo, could not and can not beat this man. NO ONE in the URWL can beat this man."
As for how the two united, Salvatore didn't mince any words. "I was released from the hole a few months back without any possible explanation. It was as if someone bailed me out. As you all know, I was put in that cell by the boss of this company, Goldash007. The bastard called the police in the middle of an event just to try and track me down. He succeeded. I confessed to everything I did in my career with the Mafia. Every hit, every extortion, every kill, every smuggling run...everything. I spent four years in solitary confinement because of that bastard. So, when I was finally, mysteriously released, I tried to make it as low-key a release as possible. I watched the URWL every night, waiting for a moment to come back, anticipating my next move. Then, one night, I just happened to watch that no-talent hack Jaime Emo try to "save" Shane B. Perkins from the biggest talent in our business today, !nterogative. The wheels started turning. Then, after Emo's disgraceful win in Episode 4, I decided to call !nterogative up. He knew my voice. He knew my intentions. I wanted to help him. He accepted, knowing he had his hands full with Emo. I proposed that if Emo ever hit his finisher and got a two count, I would cut the power to the lights, run through the crowd and make my way to the ring to help him out...and the rest, as they say...is entertainment."
When asked if whether he would return as a wrestler or a manager, Salvatore simply replied, "Both. Ya got a problem? Ya think that I'm washed up, like that waste of life Barry White? You thought wrong. Age is only a number - it doesn't take into affect your mentality, your enthusiasm, or your wrestling skill. I'm going into that ring every night just like in the old days, and all of you are going to respect me for it, whether you like it or you don't. The truth is, I never cared what the fans thought. I'm doing all of this for myself...and now, I have the biggest star in the URWL today under my wing."
A man of few words, the current URWL Champion and URWL Internet Champion, !nterogative, had much to say on this occasion. Recently clean-shaven and lacking his thick beard, which became sort of a trademark for him in recent events, the Champion credits Salvatore with reinventing his career. "Salv has taught me in these past few days that the thing to fear most is nothing at all. I don't mind what those pathetic fans think of me anymore. I'm as focused as ever. And I'm keeping this URWL Championship belt. No one will ever take it away from me. No one on this roster can even stand up to me. Barry tried. Shane tried. Jaime tried. They all failed. Miserably. I am the true Champion of this league. No one else matters."
However, the most surprising information came at the end of the press conference.
"As a token of my appreciation," said !nterogative, "I now give this URWL Internet Title to my mentor, my manager, my ally...Salvatore. He deserves it more than I ever will."
...and !nterogative proceeded to hand the title to Salvatore, who slid and draped the title over his left shoulder. Leaning over into the microphone, he uttered one more sentence before both men left the podium. "Jaime, make your rematch now, punk."
"This was all planned out beforehand, it wasn't some spur of the moment deal," said Salvatore, who revealed he was the mastermind behind the final shocking moment of the 2006-07 URWL season. "This is real. Joe Intero and Michael Salvatore are, indeed, an alliance, the likes of which the wrestling world has never seen before. It's a union between the greatest wrestler of the old URWL, myself, and the greatest wrestler of the new URWL: the man to my left, YOUR undefeated URWL Champion, !nterogative. Your hero, Jaime Emo, could not and can not beat this man. NO ONE in the URWL can beat this man."
As for how the two united, Salvatore didn't mince any words. "I was released from the hole a few months back without any possible explanation. It was as if someone bailed me out. As you all know, I was put in that cell by the boss of this company, Goldash007. The bastard called the police in the middle of an event just to try and track me down. He succeeded. I confessed to everything I did in my career with the Mafia. Every hit, every extortion, every kill, every smuggling run...everything. I spent four years in solitary confinement because of that bastard. So, when I was finally, mysteriously released, I tried to make it as low-key a release as possible. I watched the URWL every night, waiting for a moment to come back, anticipating my next move. Then, one night, I just happened to watch that no-talent hack Jaime Emo try to "save" Shane B. Perkins from the biggest talent in our business today, !nterogative. The wheels started turning. Then, after Emo's disgraceful win in Episode 4, I decided to call !nterogative up. He knew my voice. He knew my intentions. I wanted to help him. He accepted, knowing he had his hands full with Emo. I proposed that if Emo ever hit his finisher and got a two count, I would cut the power to the lights, run through the crowd and make my way to the ring to help him out...and the rest, as they say...is entertainment."
When asked if whether he would return as a wrestler or a manager, Salvatore simply replied, "Both. Ya got a problem? Ya think that I'm washed up, like that waste of life Barry White? You thought wrong. Age is only a number - it doesn't take into affect your mentality, your enthusiasm, or your wrestling skill. I'm going into that ring every night just like in the old days, and all of you are going to respect me for it, whether you like it or you don't. The truth is, I never cared what the fans thought. I'm doing all of this for myself...and now, I have the biggest star in the URWL today under my wing."
A man of few words, the current URWL Champion and URWL Internet Champion, !nterogative, had much to say on this occasion. Recently clean-shaven and lacking his thick beard, which became sort of a trademark for him in recent events, the Champion credits Salvatore with reinventing his career. "Salv has taught me in these past few days that the thing to fear most is nothing at all. I don't mind what those pathetic fans think of me anymore. I'm as focused as ever. And I'm keeping this URWL Championship belt. No one will ever take it away from me. No one on this roster can even stand up to me. Barry tried. Shane tried. Jaime tried. They all failed. Miserably. I am the true Champion of this league. No one else matters."
However, the most surprising information came at the end of the press conference.
"As a token of my appreciation," said !nterogative, "I now give this URWL Internet Title to my mentor, my manager, my ally...Salvatore. He deserves it more than I ever will."
...and !nterogative proceeded to hand the title to Salvatore, who slid and draped the title over his left shoulder. Leaning over into the microphone, he uttered one more sentence before both men left the podium. "Jaime, make your rematch now, punk."
