My opinions (DANGER:
SPOILER ALERT):
Let's start with the little things. FIRST: The WWE rips me off again! (I'll create a thread about this later). During a cheap heat promo against the people of New York by Santino Marella, Big Dick Johnson appeared once again (WHY?) and wore tights with "19-0" on the back to symbolize the New England Patriots' record (if they win this year's Super Bowl). I did this with Akina at Discontent for Hawai'i's undefeated regular season in NCAA Football. Hmmmm...are they watching us? Or am I just one coincidental motherfucker? And why the hell is Big Dick Johnson on WWE television again? No TNA chants this time, however. And no, Dixie and Jerry, this doesn't mean you can use "Big Fat Oily Guy" again for shits and giggles.
SECOND: Snuka and Piper return in sequential order, to appease the nostalgic crowd in MSG, but Kane, who comes out immediately after, comes right out and eliminates them. Waste of fucking time...but it was worth seeing Piper go nuts and take his shirt off when he knows he's one obese dude, despite surviving cancer recently. How's retired life treating you, Hot Rod?
THIRD: Cena again. But I'll get to that later.
FOURTH: Some rowdy, high or drunk, but always stupid fans. Especially this DRPIZZA lookalike with a yellow shirt on, near the right side of the entranceway who will undoubtedly post himself on YouTube and proclaim to the world that his childish gestures were "funny". Or not. But he did have a screw loose whenever the camera was near him.
MATCH RATINGS/ANALYSIS:
Flair/MVP: **/*****. Blown spots galore and some pretty bad miming, but it could have all come out in the wash if they ended the match with a schoolboy after MVP was arguing with the referee over a disputed pinfall. However, MVP kicked out just as the fans were at their highest crescendo. Both men clubbered for a short while and then Flair ended it with the Figure Four. Could have been a lot better if they just ended it with the schoolboy.
Y2J/JBL: **/*****. Dog of the night, by far. The match never really took off, as the beginning of the match was reminiscent of another infamous MSG moment: Goldberg/Lesnar WMXX (basically, Jericho attacks JBL, JBL walks back, hides in the corner, uses the referee as a distancer, then comes back to attack Y2J and the cycle repeats itself as soon as Jericho mounts an attack). The real highlight of this match, however, was blood. Jericho made what is undoubtedly the deepest or widest blade job of the past decade after JBL sent him outside the ring...blood was EVERYWHERE, including on Y2J's torso, the ring, the padded floor outside the ring, the Raw announce table and especially on JBL. Match ends with a DQ, as Jericho nails Layfield with a steel chair and then turns the tables on JBL by choking him with the microphone cable, but taken one step further, as Jericho extends the cable all the way to the announce tables, appearing as if JBL is almost being "hung". One of those matches where the aftermath is better than the ending.
Edge/Rey Jr: ***/*****. A good contest, not the best but not the worst, either. Vickie Guerrero is still very involved with Edge, and with the match itself, in a storyline I am honestly disgusted by (since she's a freaking widow for Christ's sake) but that's beside the point. This match contained a rare occasion in the WWE: Wrestlers getting banned from ringside by the referee (in this case, "Edge's Friends"). MSG is loving Edge tonight, by far, showering him with applause while Rey gets booed. Standard WWE fare for Rey Jr., nothing groundbreaking. Multiple spots involving the 619 setup, for instance, and a trademark top-rope plancha. Edge's match was also middle of the road, but he capped it off well, with a spear that countered Rey's "west coast pop". A 619 that sent a hugging (yes, hugging) Vickie and Edge separate ways (Edge into the ring, Vickie out of the ring) set that spot up. Great ending, but an altogether average contest.
Jeff Hardy/Randy Orton: ***/*****. Pretty standard main event fare. This match, once again, could have been at any WWE television event or pay-per-view. Nothing that special about it. Hardy executes his normal spots (e.g. turnbuckle kick, whisper in the wind) but Orton never really mounts an attack or advantage...except for at the very end of the match, where he counters Jeff's twist of fate with an RKO and gets the pinfall to retain his title. It's a damn shame, folks. The WWE pushed Jeff to the limit, and this is what happens? Hmmm....sounds vaguely familiar.
But trust me, folks, this had nothing to do with any returning wrestler, so there's no excuse this time, WWE. Or is there?
21st Royal Rumble Match: ****/*****. As always, the Rumble does not disappoint, but, like the main event, it's not by any means groundbreaking. Cheap exit for Finlay and Hornswoggle, though. Finlay was originally supposed to be a normal entrant, but entered prematurely to help out Horny and attack the entire ring with the shillelagh. Why is Hornswoggle so over in the first place? No idea there. Anyhoo, Chavo Guerrero is an official entrant this year, meaning that WWECW is that much closer to being terminated...just do it already! He elimiates CM Punk, while WWECW counterpart Shelton Botchamin is once again posterized by Shawn Michaels with a Sweet Chin Music over the top rope.
ELIMINATION OF THE NIGHT: Undertaker is eliminated by Shawn Michaels, who is eliminated by Mr. Kennedy!
GUY WHO SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN IN THE MATCH AS LONG AS HE WAS: Either John Morrison, The Miz or Cody Rhodes.
WHY THE HELL DID HE COME BACK AWARD: Roddy Piper or Jimmy Snuka, take your pick. Why didn't I mention John Cena? Well, he shocks the world once again, coming in at #30, and goddamnit, I actually felt surprised and refreshed by his presence...until he won, and it hit me: Here comes Supercena all over again...
Overall Rating: ***.5/***** Not amazing, but not horrible, either. The undercard, while it was full of great matches on paper, was so-so. Of course, the Royal Rumble was worth watching, as it is every year, despite Cena coming in thirtieth and eliminating Trips with a F-U over the top rope. But it was perfectly acceptable by my standards. Definitely a notch better than what they do between Wrestlemanias, anyway.
Questions I Had:
-Cena/Orton? Cena/Edge? Methinks the former.
-What will become of Jeff Hardy? I'm thinking he'll be back to defending the IC Championship. Look for an upper-midcard heel like Kennedy or Carlito to go after him.
-The Big Show still hasn't debuted yet. Oh, well, at least he isn't boxing.
-Wanna bet that next Saturday's UFC with Lesnar headlining gets a better buyrate?
-If TNA gives "Big Fat Oily Guy" any time on !MPACT this week, there is no God...or at least, no direct X Division presence to save it.
-JBL/Y2J at No Way Out or Wrestlemania, once again, no DQ. I smell it.
-Should the URWL do a 20 Man Royal Rumble type match for a championship if one becomes vacant? Hmmm....
Figures
But trust me, folks, this had nothing to do with any returning wrestler, so there's no excuse this time, WWE. Or is there? 
Feb 13, 2017 23:02:09 GMT -5
Feb 13, 2017 23:02:09 GMT -5