Post by Goldash on Jun 12, 2008 15:53:20 GMT -5
(San Francisco, CA): What's in a name? Better yet, what's in a nickname? Seth Stern, apart from doing the unthinkable at URWL Digital Mayhem 2008, looks to reinvent himself in any way possible.
"This is a case of 'the old' Seth Stern against 'the new' Seth Stern," the defiant 20-year old Rookie of the Year boasts as he looks over the skyline of San Francisco from his bayside penthouse. "By sending Jaime Emo through the cell at Digital Mayhem, I proved to the world that I am still the preeminent force in CAW wrestling, unlike this punk-ass loser the fans call a champion, Jaime Emo."
His first step toward reinvention was his return at Digital Mayhem. With new theme music, a new t-shirt, and a new attitude, Seth emerged as Jaime Emo's first threat as champion less than five minutes after Emo successfully ended !nterogative's winning streak and became only the second URWL Champion of the modern CAW era.
Stern's second step toward reinvention? Dropping "The Deuce".
"I thought it was time to let go of the old nickname because it does me more harm than good. I will not be remembered as a 'second place' wrestler, like Emo and the URWL always shoves down our throats. Second of all, it's immature. I'm not a teenager anymore. Because of that, I feel it brings me down. It makes me look like a little kid. Finally, it's not an excuse to call me a SHITTY WRESTLER! For all I care, the fans can still bring it up at their little parties with their drunken friends and laugh about it all they want...but the only reason why I chose the nickname in the first place was to exert my superiority over this pathetic roster of losers and has-beens. By being the one true 'Deuce' of the wrestling industry, I let everyone know that I was 'the shit', the standard by which all other wrestlers, young or old, would be judged. Little did I know that it would backfire in the manner it did. And to all of those who continue to laugh and point fingers at how 'hilarious' my nickname was...well, you can't do that anymore, because I had the final say. I have creative control. I have executive privilege. That's the way it has always worked and always will work."
The third step toward reinvention is Stern's major focus heading into the road to Popular Demand: Defeating Jaime Emo and winning the URWL Championship. However, it isn't as simple as that in the opinion of the Rookie of the Year.
"Despite what anyone says around here, Jaime Emo is the ultimate one-match fluke. He doesn't have the proverbial 'Heart of a Champion'. In fact, he doesn't even deserve a title belt. If it weren't for his lucky win at Asphyxiation, Emo would be nowhere. Even the fucker himself admits it. Fine. But that doesn't mean he's suddenly one of the best wrestlers in the URWL today. That's a lie. How many times did he lose to !nterogative or Salvatore before 'earning' his #1 Contendership? Wait a minute, did the idiot even legimately earn it? I mean, the last time I checked, he didn't even pin Cordaro. Where's the sense in that? Because he didn't belong in that main event, and because he's an attention-seeker with the URWL's collective dick up his asshole, I did everyone a favor by coming back. I finally showed everyone just what happens when someone decides to make a career out of exploiting a lucky win. No one likes to tune in every week and watch a loser like Jaime Emo, and I mean that literally. Every one of his matches ends the same way...Emo gets beaten up, squirms on the canvas like a bitch while Goldash007 screams like a maniac about 'redemption', how good he thinks Emo is and how Emo may be the face of the URWL. Then, after losing three or four matches in a row, he finally wins a big gimmick match at an even bigger supercard, and everybody talks about how awesome he is again. The silly thing is, according to these fans, this crap seems to be working! If this was any other professional sport, this would be impossible. Let's say it's Week 17 in the NFL and the Miami Dolphins are 0-15 once again. The fans have suffered enough and don't really care about their chances in the playoffs. Somehow, though, Miami gets a win in Week 17 and avoids becoming the biggest embarrassment in NFL history. In conclusion, the Dolphins won one game but will forever be losers in the record books. That's why the URWL's idiotic plan to push Jaime Emo needs to end...and I'm the man to end it. Why? Everybody loves a winner. Admit it."
When asked about Emo's opinion of him, Seth smirked and let a wry chuckle escape his lips. "There's only so much you can say when you have a career like his. He's used so-called 'determination' and 'heart' to get what he wants. He claims I'm a spoiled brat because I don't share his values. The truth is, Emo, I'm nothing like you are. An idea like determination is hypocritical if it comes from the mouth of a loser. How's this for 'determination', Emo? I came from out of nowhere at age nineteen to become the first Internet Champion of the YouTube and CAW eras. I became Rookie of the Year after beating Akina by one vote. I made an impact early and my name has been on the lips of every serious wrestling enthusiast since I left the DWA. Of course, your mindless cult of fans may beg to differ, Jaime, but compared to what your pathetic career of missed opportunites has become, I have made more of an impact in one year than you have done since 2002. You claim that I didn't match your 'determinaton' in the final seconds of Asphyxiation's ladder match. I beg to differ. I did everything possible to get that belt down. You, unfortunately, caught a lucky break. I don't care which match the fans throw at us in Popular Demand's main event. I don't even care if it's another Ladder Match. Starting in Episode 7, Jaime, you will begin to see your career unfurl before your eyes. When we meet in the middle of that ring during the Elimination Tag Match...you, my friend, will take back everything you said about me. You will understand why I plan to stop your ridiculous push. You will realize that I'm not The Deuce anymore...I'm NUMBER ONE."
Jaime Emo and Seth Stern, as mentioned above, will collide in an Elimination Tag Team Match in Episode 7 with URWL veterans Barry White and !nterogative, respectively, by their sides.
"This is a case of 'the old' Seth Stern against 'the new' Seth Stern," the defiant 20-year old Rookie of the Year boasts as he looks over the skyline of San Francisco from his bayside penthouse. "By sending Jaime Emo through the cell at Digital Mayhem, I proved to the world that I am still the preeminent force in CAW wrestling, unlike this punk-ass loser the fans call a champion, Jaime Emo."
His first step toward reinvention was his return at Digital Mayhem. With new theme music, a new t-shirt, and a new attitude, Seth emerged as Jaime Emo's first threat as champion less than five minutes after Emo successfully ended !nterogative's winning streak and became only the second URWL Champion of the modern CAW era.
Stern's second step toward reinvention? Dropping "The Deuce".
"I thought it was time to let go of the old nickname because it does me more harm than good. I will not be remembered as a 'second place' wrestler, like Emo and the URWL always shoves down our throats. Second of all, it's immature. I'm not a teenager anymore. Because of that, I feel it brings me down. It makes me look like a little kid. Finally, it's not an excuse to call me a SHITTY WRESTLER! For all I care, the fans can still bring it up at their little parties with their drunken friends and laugh about it all they want...but the only reason why I chose the nickname in the first place was to exert my superiority over this pathetic roster of losers and has-beens. By being the one true 'Deuce' of the wrestling industry, I let everyone know that I was 'the shit', the standard by which all other wrestlers, young or old, would be judged. Little did I know that it would backfire in the manner it did. And to all of those who continue to laugh and point fingers at how 'hilarious' my nickname was...well, you can't do that anymore, because I had the final say. I have creative control. I have executive privilege. That's the way it has always worked and always will work."
The third step toward reinvention is Stern's major focus heading into the road to Popular Demand: Defeating Jaime Emo and winning the URWL Championship. However, it isn't as simple as that in the opinion of the Rookie of the Year.
"Despite what anyone says around here, Jaime Emo is the ultimate one-match fluke. He doesn't have the proverbial 'Heart of a Champion'. In fact, he doesn't even deserve a title belt. If it weren't for his lucky win at Asphyxiation, Emo would be nowhere. Even the fucker himself admits it. Fine. But that doesn't mean he's suddenly one of the best wrestlers in the URWL today. That's a lie. How many times did he lose to !nterogative or Salvatore before 'earning' his #1 Contendership? Wait a minute, did the idiot even legimately earn it? I mean, the last time I checked, he didn't even pin Cordaro. Where's the sense in that? Because he didn't belong in that main event, and because he's an attention-seeker with the URWL's collective dick up his asshole, I did everyone a favor by coming back. I finally showed everyone just what happens when someone decides to make a career out of exploiting a lucky win. No one likes to tune in every week and watch a loser like Jaime Emo, and I mean that literally. Every one of his matches ends the same way...Emo gets beaten up, squirms on the canvas like a bitch while Goldash007 screams like a maniac about 'redemption', how good he thinks Emo is and how Emo may be the face of the URWL. Then, after losing three or four matches in a row, he finally wins a big gimmick match at an even bigger supercard, and everybody talks about how awesome he is again. The silly thing is, according to these fans, this crap seems to be working! If this was any other professional sport, this would be impossible. Let's say it's Week 17 in the NFL and the Miami Dolphins are 0-15 once again. The fans have suffered enough and don't really care about their chances in the playoffs. Somehow, though, Miami gets a win in Week 17 and avoids becoming the biggest embarrassment in NFL history. In conclusion, the Dolphins won one game but will forever be losers in the record books. That's why the URWL's idiotic plan to push Jaime Emo needs to end...and I'm the man to end it. Why? Everybody loves a winner. Admit it."
When asked about Emo's opinion of him, Seth smirked and let a wry chuckle escape his lips. "There's only so much you can say when you have a career like his. He's used so-called 'determination' and 'heart' to get what he wants. He claims I'm a spoiled brat because I don't share his values. The truth is, Emo, I'm nothing like you are. An idea like determination is hypocritical if it comes from the mouth of a loser. How's this for 'determination', Emo? I came from out of nowhere at age nineteen to become the first Internet Champion of the YouTube and CAW eras. I became Rookie of the Year after beating Akina by one vote. I made an impact early and my name has been on the lips of every serious wrestling enthusiast since I left the DWA. Of course, your mindless cult of fans may beg to differ, Jaime, but compared to what your pathetic career of missed opportunites has become, I have made more of an impact in one year than you have done since 2002. You claim that I didn't match your 'determinaton' in the final seconds of Asphyxiation's ladder match. I beg to differ. I did everything possible to get that belt down. You, unfortunately, caught a lucky break. I don't care which match the fans throw at us in Popular Demand's main event. I don't even care if it's another Ladder Match. Starting in Episode 7, Jaime, you will begin to see your career unfurl before your eyes. When we meet in the middle of that ring during the Elimination Tag Match...you, my friend, will take back everything you said about me. You will understand why I plan to stop your ridiculous push. You will realize that I'm not The Deuce anymore...I'm NUMBER ONE."
Jaime Emo and Seth Stern, as mentioned above, will collide in an Elimination Tag Team Match in Episode 7 with URWL veterans Barry White and !nterogative, respectively, by their sides.
