Amazon Customer Reviews of Bic Pens

[efwwrestling]

www.amazon.co.uk/review/product/B000JTOYLS/ref=cm_cr_pr_redirect/279-8542046-6738655?%5Fencoding=UTF8&showViewpoints=0

"Overall a good product, but I have a little discrepancy,

I tested the endurance of the ink by drawing tiny phalluses on my little brother's forehead while he was asleep. He managed to wash the pen off the next morning in time before he had to go to school with minnimal soap usage; it only took around 30 seconds of scrubbing to remove it. The previous ball point pen I tested left a mark for a couple of days. I would like some sort of explanation."

[DevildrummerX]

You think that one is creepy? Then read this one the guy needs serious serious HELP!

Upon receiving my order, I carefully opened the box and dug through the packing peanuts in order to get to the pen contained therein. 'Beautiful!', I thought, and promptly opened up my moleskine notebook to jot down to myself some notes. My previous pen had ran out of ink four weeks prior and I didn't want to splurge on expensive shipping, which meant I had a lot of notes to catch up on writing.

But, when that quality carbide ball touched the surface of the paper, it was not ink that came out. From a distance I heard the screams of men and the cackling of innumerable ravens. I stopped, cold and sweating profusely. I looked down at the Bic Crystal black medium ballpoint pen which I held in my hand, only to see darkness. I dashed it against the wall, recoiling in horror. I saw in the corner of my eye my faithful notebook, which now lay on the ground. Once unmarred, I saw now the small mark which I had made with the devil's own pen. It spread across the page like a plague, and looking at it I gazed upon true horrors. For, what I thought had been ink was in fact a portal to a dark, unforgiving dimension. A portal whose maw was now widening to engulf all hope and joy in the world.

'God, what have I done?' I exclaimed as I weeped and fell to my knees, 'What have I done?'

From beyond the Dark Gate I heard these words, words which I can never forget. A terrible, booming voice said to me, 'Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!'

I ran, blindly stumbling, away from that place and never looked back. My only hope is that none shall follow in the path I've walked down, too blinded by hubris to realize my follies.

Someone call the nearest asylum!