Post by Goldash on Jul 17, 2008 17:46:02 GMT -5
ORCHARD PARK, NEW YORK: In a press conference to the local and national wrestling media, URWL CEO Goldash007 and Chairman Vinceneil1981 addressed an issue that has been on the mind of every URWL fan for the past month: a possible suspension for popular HighFlyer Division wrestler Taurus. Since joining the URWL on a full-time basis after URWL Discontent 2007, Taurus has been one of the most breathtaking wrestlers on the URWL roster. However, his actions on Episode 7 of URWL Wrestling have landed him in hot water with URWL administration. Today, the most powerful men in the organization, with the full support of the URWL Board of Directors, unveiled Taurus's punishment.
"During Episode 7, I let each and every URWL fan know what would be in store for Taurus if he decided to change the outcome of Victor Cordaro and Trent Tail's contest," Goldash007 proclaimed. "As I said after Digital Mayhem, I wanted this investigation to take place outside the ring, where this issue could be mediated systematically and democratically. Myself, Vince and the Board of Directors planned to interview everyone held in suspicion between Episodes 7 and 8. Our plans for a non-invasive interrogation process were thwarted, however, when Taurus decided to take matters into his own hands, exactly what I, Vince, and the Board did not want to happen. Taurus has ruined what we had originally scheduled."
"As Goldash said, we had many options," Vinceneil1981 continued. "We could have easily suspended Taurus for an extended period of time...and we actually considered doing it at one point. A private poll of anonymous URWL viewers suggested, however, that we could not get away with such a proposal without losing ratings. If you listened carefully to Goldash's commentary track in Episode 7, you'll remember our second course of action. A contingency plan decided by our very own Board of Directors..."
Goldash007 approached the podium once again, but this time with a hypothetical bomb between his lips. Without a hint of sarcasm, wit or irony, he gravely leaned toward the microphone to announce the consequences.
"...and after a unanimous vote, we have decided to end this investigation where it began: in the ring. In Episode 8, Taurus will face not only Victor Cordaro, but former URWL Champion !nterogative and URWL Rookie of the Year Seth Stern. By putting Taurus in the ring with three of the most controversial heels in this organization, we not only plan to show Taurus how order can be restored in the URWL, but put his future as a viable URWL talent in jeopardy. If Taurus wins, he will emerge with his fans and future intact. If he loses, he will not be booked at Popular Demand 2008 and will not be eligible for URWL HighFlyer Title contention for one year."
Vinceneil1981 added, "We respect Taurus as a competitor. We respect what he brings to this company. But what Taurus doesn't understand is the URWL isn't run like his old Lucha Libre federation. We don't run on verbal agreements or have shoddy backstage organization. We pride ourselves as being a respectable entity in the entertainment and business world. Furthermore, each of our performers must follow a simple set of guidelines. It's a matter of trust. If one of our workers breaks the connection between instinct and reason and decides to throw caution to the wind in order to prove a point, we have no choice but to step in. Taurus was the victim of a disgusting act of cowardice at Digital Mayhem, but he had no right to choose revenge against Cordaro, the man we all know orchestrated the so-called 'Kansas City Screwjob'."
"If Taurus can prove to us and to the URWL fans that he's worthy of a spot at Popular Demand," Goldash007 concluded, "then he'll be forgiven. After Digital Mayhem, Cordaro was the only guilty party. After Episode 7, Taurus showed us that he was just as guilty as Cordaro when he took matters into his own hands. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we need Taurus back on our side. If he proves he can stand up to each man he faces in that very ring during Episode 8's main event...then he will be rewarded accordingly. If he fails, his career will suffer."
Strangely, plans to deal with the consequences of Victor Cordaro's involvement in Digital Mayhem's "Kansas City Screwjob" were not announced.
"During Episode 7, I let each and every URWL fan know what would be in store for Taurus if he decided to change the outcome of Victor Cordaro and Trent Tail's contest," Goldash007 proclaimed. "As I said after Digital Mayhem, I wanted this investigation to take place outside the ring, where this issue could be mediated systematically and democratically. Myself, Vince and the Board of Directors planned to interview everyone held in suspicion between Episodes 7 and 8. Our plans for a non-invasive interrogation process were thwarted, however, when Taurus decided to take matters into his own hands, exactly what I, Vince, and the Board did not want to happen. Taurus has ruined what we had originally scheduled."
"As Goldash said, we had many options," Vinceneil1981 continued. "We could have easily suspended Taurus for an extended period of time...and we actually considered doing it at one point. A private poll of anonymous URWL viewers suggested, however, that we could not get away with such a proposal without losing ratings. If you listened carefully to Goldash's commentary track in Episode 7, you'll remember our second course of action. A contingency plan decided by our very own Board of Directors..."
Goldash007 approached the podium once again, but this time with a hypothetical bomb between his lips. Without a hint of sarcasm, wit or irony, he gravely leaned toward the microphone to announce the consequences.
"...and after a unanimous vote, we have decided to end this investigation where it began: in the ring. In Episode 8, Taurus will face not only Victor Cordaro, but former URWL Champion !nterogative and URWL Rookie of the Year Seth Stern. By putting Taurus in the ring with three of the most controversial heels in this organization, we not only plan to show Taurus how order can be restored in the URWL, but put his future as a viable URWL talent in jeopardy. If Taurus wins, he will emerge with his fans and future intact. If he loses, he will not be booked at Popular Demand 2008 and will not be eligible for URWL HighFlyer Title contention for one year."
Vinceneil1981 added, "We respect Taurus as a competitor. We respect what he brings to this company. But what Taurus doesn't understand is the URWL isn't run like his old Lucha Libre federation. We don't run on verbal agreements or have shoddy backstage organization. We pride ourselves as being a respectable entity in the entertainment and business world. Furthermore, each of our performers must follow a simple set of guidelines. It's a matter of trust. If one of our workers breaks the connection between instinct and reason and decides to throw caution to the wind in order to prove a point, we have no choice but to step in. Taurus was the victim of a disgusting act of cowardice at Digital Mayhem, but he had no right to choose revenge against Cordaro, the man we all know orchestrated the so-called 'Kansas City Screwjob'."
"If Taurus can prove to us and to the URWL fans that he's worthy of a spot at Popular Demand," Goldash007 concluded, "then he'll be forgiven. After Digital Mayhem, Cordaro was the only guilty party. After Episode 7, Taurus showed us that he was just as guilty as Cordaro when he took matters into his own hands. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we need Taurus back on our side. If he proves he can stand up to each man he faces in that very ring during Episode 8's main event...then he will be rewarded accordingly. If he fails, his career will suffer."
Strangely, plans to deal with the consequences of Victor Cordaro's involvement in Digital Mayhem's "Kansas City Screwjob" were not announced.
